Pissed

Hey there.
So yeah, I'm here sitting at work.
Nobody is here but me.
I know I haven't updated in awhile.
I guess I just didn't feel like it..
I'm super angry.
I asked Steve to go to dinner with me and when we get there he sits down with a bunch of his friends and I don't really mind that much.
Then he doesn't even talk to me the entire time.
I felt completely stupid sitting there not saying a word, sitting with a bunch of people that I barely know.
So about 5 minutes later I get up and steve asks me if I'm gonna go to another table and I said "no, i'm going back to the dorms".
so he has this sad face and I tell him that i'll see him later.
gar...i swear, hardly anybody on this planet really cares about me.
I think Steve picks on me so much because he wants to see my reaction. He gets a goog laugh at seeing how angry I get at him.
He even admitted to doing that last semester.
What kind of a friend does that?
Earlier today he told me I was CHEAP because I wanted to win an IPOD.
Umm...ok
How does that make me cheap?
Then he said he was just kidding....whatever Steven....
I HATE being treated like this.
One day he will be this super sweet guy that I adore and the next day he will be this super jerk and I feel like punching him.
Seriously now, it just isn't fair.
But life isn't fair now is it?

I'm sick of my major.....illustration.
I hate drawing now, I completely suck...I know people tell me otherwise but compared to professionals I truly suck.
I honestly can't see myself getting any better.
I try drawing and everything just comes out looking like crap.
It makes me sad because it has really made me wonder what on earth I am doing here at MVCC....
Am I wasting 3 years of my life?
I have no idea what to do with my life.
My friends say to take it one day at a time.
It gets old doing that, its scary to think that I might not ever really get anywhere in life.
What on earth am I going to do after I graduate?
Go to another stupid school with not really any goals?!!
Geez..i'm so stupid.
I'm indecisive and loud and annoying.
I feel like a stupid emo girl right now.
I'm sorry that I'm complaning and venting but I guess that is what this journal thing is for.

I'm sick of feeling inferior...I don't like feeling that way.
I was doing so good and lately it just feels like everything is crashing down.
I just want to know that I have some kind of purpose in life.
That I mean something to somebody.

I'm gonna go read or something...

~Peace Out~ Liz