Bored..and cold

I hate it here.
I feel so alone, and I can't stand it.
My room is freezing because no heat is coming out of the heaters.
I'm sitting here in my dorm room with my winter jacket on.
How terribly sad...
I'm trying to decide if I should go to bed early or not.

So I went iceskating today with Steve, and Danielle, and Yu, and Erin, and Jason and a whole bunch of other people that live on campus.
We rode a bus there and it was fun.
The school made us lunches and it was cool.
The only thing I hated was that there were too many little kids there and they were in the way.
Yu skated really well for it being her first time on the ice.

I wish I wasn't so prude...ok maybe I'm not prude..but I feel prude.
The last person I kissed was Steven..and that was last year after spring break.
..and I feel dumb, cause I'm still a virgin and all..I feel so weird.
Everybody talks about how great sex is and I hate it.
I think that people don't think I want sex or something.
But actually I've been wanting to have sex for a long time now.
Gosh, I can't wait....well ok, I've already waited 20 years so lets just say that I'm excited about it.
But at the same time I'm thinking I would probably be very nervous...but I'm sure everybody is their first time.
You know?
Its just been so long since I've been kissed and I need some physical contact.
I don't want it to be with just some random boy though.
I'm just not like that, I'm not that kind of girl.
I want to cuddle, I miss cuddling so bad.
Its the best feeling...to have someone hold you in their arms.
(sigh)
I've been feeling really depressed lately.
Its hard being all alone.
I suppose things will get better.
Hopefully....

Well, I might go to bed now.
I'm bored outta my mind.
..and obviously none of my friends will be coming over..

BIG SURPRIZE! ...they NEVER do..

Peace Out ~Liz~