Trying to heal

Hey there,
I should update more, I know I know..but I have been very busy now that I work at Walmart.
They have been giving me lots of hours but I need the money and seriously what else am I going to do with my time?

Now about the whole Steven thing.
Yeah, about 3 weeks ago he IMs me and basically says that he doesn't have feelings for me anymore and how he can only see himself hurting me more than he already had.
He couldn't even call and tell me that.....how lame.
For all of you that didn't know, we basically were dating the last 2 weeks of college.
It was wonderful and everything was great and he is so foolish for letting everything go......but I can't change how he feels.
He told me he would call and he still hasn't!
I've finally come to the conclusion that he is avoiding the whole situation and that is his reason for not calling..because he is afraid that I will bring everything up.
He doesn't want to face the problem but rather dodge it.
But really, I just want to catch up on things with him.
He doesn't respond to my e-mails either.
Its so painful too, because he was one of my best friends, I really don't think I deserve this.
All I'm asking him for is friendship...I mean he said of course we would be friends, but doesn't it work both ways?
Gosh, don't think I'm running back to him in the fall either, because it isn't even worth it!
Its just so hard because I gave him my heart and I felt like he just ran it over and used me.
I'm not sure what to do now, of course I'm going on with my life.
But to be honest, this summer hasn't been very fun so far.
For the first month I was sick with something that just kept getting worse (thank God its finally gone) and now it seems like all I do is work work work. I need to see friends more, I just feel so empty. I mean, I've been praying and seeking God but I still feel lonely.
I still have the strong desire to be loved and cared by a guy.
Its painful to think that maybe Steven never cared at all.
How do you know what is real and what is pretend?
I wish life could be less confusing, but I guess thats just life.

~Liz~